Sunday, 21 February 2016

Have You Forgotten

I remember when I was a little Chakra Activation System Review girl, between the ages of 2-5 where I was utterly happy. Sure I had my occasional meltdowns and dramas just like any child, but overall I remember being very light, happy, and confident. Specific memories are when I was on vacation and I'd go to the store not to buy candy, but to buy my beautiful plastic jewels that I'd wear around the campground in all my glory.


Those years between 2-5 were memorable because I could just be me and I didn't have to apologize for, or sensor, who I really was. But then, things changed. I got older and was exposed to the outside world which included the school system - where not only kids were really mean- but the systems were forcing me into a box that squashed my imagination, my light-heartiness and ultimately the love I had for myself.



I see now that I was forced to conform to standards outside myself and I began to compare myself to others and believe that they were better than me. As the years went by, more beliefs formed, and after much exploration, I see that they formed into one biggie: "I'm not enough". I've had a million versions of not being enough - whether not ~ pretty enough, skinny enough, talented enough, coordinated enough, smart enough ~ you name it, I've probably struggled with it. Yet, there was always this part of me that urged me on throughout the years - it was a small part who I believe is my inner-light, my inner-little-girl. She's the one that gave me the courage to go to a college that I had no right going to on paper. She's the one who helped me claim my worth when I knew I was in relationships that were compromising my values. And she's the one who is helping me feel worthy of what I'm stepping into with my work and life - and to finally feel worthy and good enough for all that I've desired over the years.

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